Well, I've been gone for a quite a bit from DA. To be honest I left because of my lack of talent. :/ I didn't even reveal this to my friends because I felt ashamed of feeling that way...also I lacked constant access to the website. It's a long story but a lot of of it had to do with being unmotivated to be here. There is so much talent here, I felt sorta washed up. I suppose. Anyway, enough of that sob story nonsense. I suppose I'll be back here- on and off again. I do miss DA a lot. The community was usually nice and the feedback was great as well.
Now, why the salty tears you ask?
Alan Rickman and David Bowie.
David passing first was a shock to me and upset me greatly; I loved his music but my most favorite thing to remember him by; yes you guessed it. His role as Jareth, the Goblin King in Labyrinth. I ADORE that movie, and to hear of his passing only caused tears of agony of missing yet another Idol. My first Idol to pass was MJ. It was so sad and I even drew my OC in one of my favorite MV's of him, Smooth Criminal. I watched him dance magic, dance one last time before I curled up and cried again. I'd already started by the time they came to the masquerade ball scene.
It was so beautiful. I remember wanting to BE, Sarah in that scene. I was just starting high school when I found David but I still feel just as heartbroken as die hard fans were before I was born. David transcended from his starting days as a young teen until now. His passing was shocking to me. I really thought he'd live longer. Oh, how badly I wanted to meet him. :[ I was so upset to lose another of my metaphorical husbands. I literally didn't believe it until I saw his FB post and confirm it. I remember staring at my phone in tears and wanting to throw it across the room. Here I was, sitting down to another day of life and I'd already lost my mother, a friend and now I was losing the Idols...I didn't know how to feel. I was just lost in it. Music is a HUGE part of my life, not on the instrumental side, although I wish it was so. (I'm going to own a guitar one day, darn it! >=[ ) Music is apart of my creative process and to know another great legend that I loved, is gone was horrible. :[ There will never be another David Bowie. </3
Than, it hadn't even been a few days until I woke up to hear the news of my ULTIMATE Idol...Alan, had passed. I wanted to scream, and shout and cry. I did the latter of the two. I cried. For at least two days straight and even now I have a a few tears writing this.
Alan Rickman was more than just Severus Snape to me, but his role as the Potions master, then Headmaster is by far my favorite. I mean if you look at my name, EvelenSnape you should very well know where it came from. To be honest I woke up and saw the multitude of posts and immediately wanted to go back to sleep. I didn't want to cope with the sadness that had made my chest tighten and my eyes to water and my body to go numb. I posted one thing about his passing before not looking at my phone again for at least a few hours. I posted a photo I drew of Snape and my OC, which of course is Evelen. He was chasing her down for his scarf that she'd stolen. I drew that as the VERY last thing between my OC and Snape. I've redrawn another photo I drew of Evelen and Snape and I will post it as soon as I'm done writing this, but the reason Alan, not just Snape meant so much was because of his large contributions to the world of Film and the world. I knew him as a ornery, lovesick potions master; than he transformed into a terrorist , an evil sheriff and so many more roles. He was more than just Snape by then. His life is peppered with amazing triumphs and naming them all wouldn't be apt at this point, but my point is; I wept over this character, the man whom Alan had brought to life. J.K. and her books have been a HUGE part of my life since the first time I cracked up the first installment of Harry Potter at the young age of seven. I remember my friends teasing me for reading these long and no colorful books, I even had my teachers in shock at a child in my age group wanting to read more intricate novels based on witchcraft.
I was told by a friend of the family that I was "evil" for reading those books because of the books content being, you guessed it, Witchcraft. I laughed it off and to this day I still do the same.
I remember going to the movie theater premiere to watch Alan's last performance as Snape and I cried like a baby. The entire theater was blowing their noses at his wonderful performance. "You have your mothers eyes." The last words spoken by such a wonderful character, and now I have to let go of ever meeting the man behind that performance, and it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. People will probably make fun of me for caring so much about these two but I don't care, okay, good.
I have to say that Alan's death hit me the hardest with the exception of my beloved mother. Alan had been with me since I was in middle school, I believe that is when I first was introduced to him with the Harry Potter movies being made and such. I remember sitting in my bedroom reading the morning newspaper and freaking out with my sister about the second movie being produced. I was so happy, I was squealing and jumping up and down. My family thought I was nuts, my sister was happy too but not as excited as I was. From then on it was a known thing within my family that I loved Harry Potter books. I got them from my aunt twice as birthday gifts. She bought that lovely book titled, The Half- Blood Prince. Oh the joy I had in reading it! Snape's past finally revealed and all of his emotions started to make sense. I was so heartbroken and instantly in love with him. Alan himself had put a face and a voice to my growing love of Snape. The two to me are one in the same at this point and to have never gotten to meet him only makes my sadness greater. =[
I think I've rambled enough but....just note, If I Spam you with David or Snape related/ Alan related things, now you know why. I'm glad to be back and I hope I find a way to stick around. I hope you enjoy the smatter of art I'm going to be posting soon.
"After all this time..."
"Everything I've done,
I've done for you.
I move the stars for no one."
Farewell to my muses, R.I.P. <3 <3 <3
Listening to: Within You- David Bowie
Reading: My own ramblings
Watching: My Computer Screen
Drinking: Vanilla Coke -Flat-